sexta-feira, 23 de julho de 2010


Today is not easy, I do not know what got into me, but I'm very emotional, and to complete I have a sister (LU) who despites wanting to give me strength, she can not deal very well with this situation, since she arrived for vacation to visit us,she does not like me to remove the scarf or wig, (she says it is impressed, it seems that she is seeing a monster, covering the eyes,not to see me, until now I took in the game and respected, but today I woke up with the foot turned, we were having breakfast and my niece Catherine who is the daughter of my sister asked me a bathing suit to borrowed my sister said it is dangerous (all because the nurse said to anyone not touse the same toilet that I am using in the first three days of chemo), but my bathing suit I did not use long before knowing the disease and the second chemo have done more than a week, some stuff that has nothing to do, but my sister does not understand, I felt as if she is dealing with a leprous, I cried a lot in the shower thinking about what I would tell her, it upsets me, my mother said something to her and then she came to me, she said she just does not like to see me that way she was stunned to see me bald, but that prejudice hurts me, I did not ask to get sick, it can happen to anyone, is that I am already a melted butter, and with the illness I became more fragile, I think the medication used in chemotherapy should leave me this way, I know it, everything is new to me.
There's so much I wanted to be different in my life and is not, but who am I to decide what should happen to me, God is who is in charge of everything, it's who knows the challenges that we have to go and the reason, sure to become stronger. Today I only feel like crying, my sister on another hands not a bad person, but she is very fearful about everything, are the type who can not speak the word cancer, that attracts, she is very worried about what transpired that on the outside again and add to worry about the interior, all for her is something from another world, if I sneeze it already will soon be asking oh my God you became ill , connects to your doctor, this is no joke! if I move my hand on my head, she despairs ja, oh my God because you passed a hand across his head, t feel anything? It is an exaggeration at all and so we argue.I love my family but when I'm with emotions under the skin as I am today is difficult to handle me myself, so I am alone in my room and write on the blog for me to vent.